Things people say to pregnant people

It wasn’t too long ago that I got to experience the joys of being pregnant for the first time (ie: not fitting into your clothes, constant heartburn, nausea, suddenly hating your favorite foods); and while pregnancy is a beautiful and amazing thing (apparently), there was one part that I found to be more than a little annoying. During the ten months that you are sharing your body with another human, many women, myself included, experience a strange phenomenon in which other people, often total strangers, seem to think it is appropriate to make highly inappropriate comments about your body and your pregnancy. Below are a couple of the gems that I experienced.

  1. Work acquaintance walks up to me during a training-“I didn’t know you were pregnant,” looks down at my left hand, “Are you married?”

Me- “Um thanks, and no I’m not.”

WA- Gives me the most pitying look I have ever seen and says, “Oh, is the father in the picture?”

***Side note, I work in a rather professional setting, and this colleague is a well-educated human who just apparently never learned tact.

***Update, I recently ran into this woman and she asked if “the father” was still in the involved.

  1. Random guy in restaurant points to my stomach- “So you’re pregnant.”

Me- Gives him a weird look

RG-“Are you having a boy or a girl”

Me- “Um, boy”

RG- “Ha ha that means he was on top!!”

Me- “Uh…”

RG- “Ha ha, aren’t you glad it wasn’t doggy style?”

Me- Thinks to myself that this must be what happens when you are dropped on your head when you are a baby, feels sad for the man and walks away.

  1. Friend of friend- “You’re carrying so small, your baby is going to be a tiny mini!”

Me- Envisions her spontaneously combusting.

  1. Dustin- “Come on babe, waddle faster!”

Me- Wonders how hard it would be to be a single parent.

  1. *** This did not happen to me, but to a friend’s sister.

Random asshole walks up to her, looks at her boobs in an incredibly creepy manner and says, “Doesn’t look like you’re going to have any problem with breastfeeding.”

An Identity Lost

Mom, that’s what I’m called now- not by my kid, his grasp of the English language currently consists of random vowels being strung together, but by the rest of the world. Conversations that used to be filled with talk of politics and current events (let’s be real- gossip and work), are now filled with talk of breast feeding and poopy diapers. I find myself talking to practical strangers about how much weight our children have gained, maternity leave and at what age their kids started sleeping through the night.

I have a vague memory of having outside interests prior to getting pregnant. I have fleeting flashbacks of nights out with girlfriends and dinner and drinks downtown that lasted late into the night. These days, I’m still up at 2:00 AM on Saturday nights, but now it is to feed a hungry infant, not because of late night dance parties with friends.

I spent 30 years becoming the person that I was pre-baby, and it is a little hard to give that identity up. Adjusting to being responsible for a whole other person is not easy- it is no longer possible to take off for a weekend getaway on a whim, or even run out to get a pedicure, but the trade off is a constant supply of baby cuddles and 4 AM smiles. Do I sometimes miss the nights sitting outside with friends, a beer in hand? Absolutely. Would I trade what I have now to get those nights back? Never in a million years.

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4 Things to Know Before I get Started

Let’s get the boring facts out of the way first.

  1. There are four of us: Me, also known as Leah and Mom (am I ever going to get used to that??), Dustin aka Dad, D-Mac or Babe ( I know, I know we are wicked unique with our pet names…), Theodore, who goes by many names including: Theo, Teddy, Piglet, Little and Turtle and last, Akira, who we typically call Kira, but she sometimes gets called Monster or Dogface.

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    Kira with Baby Brother

  2. All four of us are native to Colorado (well we assume Kira is, we adopted her from the Dumb Friends League in Denver), and we like the typical things Coloradans do; such as camping, fishing, hiking and snowboarding.

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    Keystone, CO

  3. When Theo was 32 days old he was diagnosed with Familial Exudative Vitreoretinopathy (FEVR), a hereditary disease that impacts the eye.

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    Theo and Dad

  4. As of today I am four months into this whole parenting thing, and learning as I go. It’s an adventure and I can’t wait to see where it takes us!17819090_1439954369455241_6229630955091394560_n